Just came back from school... Don't like the speech day not because it is very boring or what... Is just that it is the last day of school and I don't even feel like thinking about it cuz I might not even be able to meet my friends again... I still haven't found my anti-littering poster then need to leave the school already... So bad, so sad. Tomorrow is the class BBQ at East Coast chalet, unit J8. Time is from 5pm-10pm. Bad news... The money that I collected for the BBQ didn't telly up and is not that the money is extra but is that there is a short of money... Not like$5 only but $13!!! Alot lehx.... Actually, I planned not to tell anybody cuz it is my responsibility not others responsibility so I need to pay the rest... Aiyo... I so scared that tomorrow's BBQ not successful then I am on the blame again... Always is my fault lorhx... Leaving school means looking for a new start, a fresh start, forget the past... The sorrow, anger, maybe also the happiness.... But, unfortunately, I can't forget the happiness part... Spent so much time with my bff and I can't even forget a single part of what we did... It's just that I can't... No matter what you make me do... I know I know... I'm very stubborn right... Sometimes my parents also say that but not always... Cuz I am very determined that I will get what I want and what I need... I'm sure that I could fulfill my wish regardless of thick and thin... In case you don't know me much, just to tell you that this is ME. The REAL ME... The one that hides her own feelings from others and bears storms by herself... The one that sometimes gone crazy when no one was at home with me... I can't even control my emotions... I feel that friends and family are no. 1 in my life that's why I always get hurt so easily by friends and family... My character isn't very strong so I often got "bullied" by my friends... But, I just don't know why I don't even dare to say a word "NO" to them... Why this why that??? I often ask myself...My mind is always clicking away with questions that I can't hold any longer that I let all out to my mum... I guessed that she really do understand me alot cuz she also went through such things that I am experiencing now... I don't know what I am thinking now... I just think that I am silly writing no, I mean typing all this right this moment cuz everybody would be able to see it... My other true feelings are hid in my personal diary hidden in the deep, dark corner of my cupboard... I was always wondering when I would be "free". You know... Out of all this "bully" stuff and trouble... ok... Gtg now and eat lunch... Bye~
