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Friday 8 August 2008

Hi all! Just want to share my composition... Help me change anything if necessary...

An Unforgettable Incident
Fear would never fail to grip Jack’s heart whenever he looks at the water. That unforgettable incident was etched deep in his mind, like an indelible stain on a white blank sheet of paper.
The rays of the Sun filtered through the window panes of Jack’s room. It was time for Jack and his best friend, Jim, to meet at the park for their regular morning jogs.
After running for several rounds, the duo sat down on a bench in front of a canal for a rest. Suddenly, they heard a soft bawling. They turned around and saw a little girl with her hair neatly tied into two plaits, was adorned with red and white ribbons.
Her tears flowed down her cheeks, her neck and onto her polka dot dress. Jim came forward and ask, “What’s the matter?” “Bear…bear…” she pointed to the canal, still sobbing.
Jim scanned the area and spotted a fishing net. He grabbed it and tried to scoop the teddy bear out from the water. After a few fruitless attempts, Jim managed to get the bear.
Out of the blue, came a box of chocolates floating on the current. “Yummy!” thought the duo. Jim quickly pass the bear to the little girl and tried scooping up the box of chocolates.
Jack seems to have another idea. Hastily, he climbed over the railings. “Stop!!!” came a voice behind him. Unfortunately, it was too late. Jack had fallen into the canal with a loud “Splash!”
All heads whipped to the source of the splash. “H-E-L-P!!!” Jack took several even gasps, between great gulps of salty, murky water.
Like an angel sent from heaven, a muscular man took to his heels to the canal and dived in regardless of the raging currents.
Grabbing onto Jack, the man pulled him out from the canal. The man pumped rhythmically on Jack’s chest. He began to cough violently and water started spluttering out from his mouth.
The moment Jack regain consciousness, Jim buried him under an avalanche of questions, “How are you feeling now? Why did you jump into the canal? Are you alright?”
After that incident, Jack had learnt an important lesson of “safety first”.


How was it??? Rate it upon 40. Thanks...


++shared memories++ 8/08/2008 12:22:00 pm
__________________________________________________________________



JJ Lin
~I LOVE MYSELF


NAME: Desirene Neo
SCHOOL:TKSS.
CLASS: 1B
EGG CRACK: 24/12/96(send me a present^^)

~Wish upon a shooting star


Go out wif the WHOLE class
Go overseas to study
get better results then ning(sry ning... u r my motivation)
excel in sch!
Be a chinese doctor

~SIONARA


SHERYL TAN | CLASS BLOG | JACK NEO | FELICIA CHIN | SHERYL TAN INFORMATION BLOG | LENA | PEARL | FENG YU | GAR WAI | JJ LIN | 1B

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